It's been a month since I left. 1 month since I packed up my kids, called some friends, and said I wanted better for my family. Lilah was 6 weeks old. I had 4 kids under 3. And I had no clue what I was going to do. But I knew, I had to leave. 1 month ago...
Now, I have a house. I have friends that love and adore me and my kids. I have a job. We're getting somewhere. Counseling is definitely in order. And we're healing. As a family we're healing. It's tough. And it's hard. Sometimes at night, I lay in bed crying and scared. It's that tough. But then, I see my sleeping babies, and I realize I made the right decision. However hard it was, it was the right thing for us.
1 month. It doesn't seem like much. But it feels like a lifetime ago. The kids are enjoying all of our neighbors. Mostly because there are small kids to play with. And we're making the best of life. I really couldn't have done this without my friends though. They set up a house for us. Made sure my kids had beds and cribs. We had everything we needed. From food to diapers to toys.
I'm very grateful. And I know God is with us. Because there is no other way we could have survived the last month. And there is no other way I could have survived the last 4 years. It wasn't all bad. I was married to someone I had once loved, and who had loved me. But 4 years ago, I'm not sure what happened.
God gave me the strength to do this. To be a better person. To be a good mom to my kids. They're what's important. And I have to take care of them. They're my responsibilities. And I love them so much. I hope God continues to watch over us. We need all his love and guidance. :)