Exercise

One of my friends was amazing and lent me a few workout DVDs. A few days ago, I worked out after the kiddos went to bed. And it felt good. I slept so well that night. The next morning, I could barely move. Barely get out of bed. And let me tell you, I could feel every single muscle in my body!

I was in some serious pain. But 4 small kiddos don't understand that. And life just went on. That evening, I debated if I wanted to try it again. I figured I should. And I've been working out every night since.

Yes, it's been a slight pain. I've been sore. And I really have to talk myself into working out at night. But it's good for me. I'm in a better mood. And I have a lot more energy. I sleep a heck of a lot better too! See, exercise isn't all that bad. Now I need to get up and do some exercise! :)

Cowgirls Don't Cry

I've been hearing this song a lot! Especially in the last 2 weeks. And it has a special meaning for me. So I really like to sit and listen to the words. When my kiddos are around, I'm able to hold it together. Barely, but I hold it together.

But when they're fast asleep, I fall apart. I know, I'm not supposed to cry. But life has been difficult to say the very least. And I'm trying desperately to hold it together. But this song, it just does something to me. I'm not sure what it is. And forget it when Reba's singing. I'm like a 3 year old crying. But sometimes, it's nice to just cry and let it all out. :)

Picnics

Lately we've been having real picnics outside. My kids are loving it! I try to do it everyday for lunch. Weather permitting. And on the weekends, we try to eat outside at least 1 day for dinner.

It's just fun. And unconventional. A lot more relaxing. And did I say fun? I just make lunch or dinner, take a blanket outside, and lay it under our big tree. My kiddos just love being outside. So it's a really fun highlight to our day.

We always manage to find a few ladybugs or butterflies. My kiddos especially like those little creatures. And we love to look at all the growing flowers. A little bit of nature is good for all of us!

Now for this picture. If only I could make yummy toys like that. I really want to learn how to sew. And I would love to make something like this for my girls. I think they'd really enjoy them when they're a little bit older. Until I masters sewing, we'll just enjoy our real picnics! :)

Happy Birthday Lola!

Today is my friend Lola's birthday. I wish she was here. So I could make her a yummy chocolate cake. I'm sure it's her favorite. She loves chocolate! I just want you to know Lola, you're an amazing person. Thanks for being a great friend to me and my kiddos. Hope this is a great year for you too! :)

Happy St. Patty''s Day!

Happy st. Patty's Day! I know, I'm not Irish. I don't really know the "real" meaning behind the holiday. But I still think it's a fun one. I have a few tricks up my sleeve for my kids too! Starting with some green pancakes this morning. Pray for me. I'm not sure if I can actually make a proper pancake.

I also cut out some paper shamrocks and taped them around the house last night. Just something fun. I hide a few chocolate gold coins around the living room. Just fun stuff like that. I want to make the day a fun one for the kids. I hope they enjoy themselves. :)

Sewing Machine

I've been reading lots of crafting blogs. And everyone sews. It sounds like an economical way to provide clothing for your kiddos. With 4, I need every trick in the book. I have no sewing experience at all. I wish I did. I wish I could say that I sewed in Home Ec. But I didn't.

I do want to learn how to sew though. I think it would be a great skill to have. I started to research in expensive sewing machines. And I found this one. At Target, it's $130. But they frequently have them on sale for under $100. I'm going to start saving.

Who knows how long it will take me to save the money. Or how long it will take to actually learn how to sew. But this is definitely on my list. I want to do it. For me and my kids. It's that important. If you have any sewing tips, tricks, or blogs...please let me know! :)

Lawyers

Lawyers are so expensive. Even the one I got. That is significantly less expensive than most. He's doing me a favor. Taking our case as a pro bono case. But I still have to cover certain costs. And it's expensive. My hubby, he's making it tough. He wants to fight everything.

But I'm going to figure out how to do this. Because it's just that important. I need for my kids to grow up in a loving and safe home. One where they can go to the adult in charge, and know that they are going to be cared for. That's why I'm fighting for my kiddos.

My hubby doesn't want to be divorced. He thinks he owns me. Yes, he thinks he owns me. He's not too thrilled about our kiddos. He'd never hurt them. But he's definitely not going to fight me for custody of them. I know that much. But he also doesn't want to pay child support. I have a feeling, this is going to take a long time. I just hope, that I can find a way to pay for it all. :)

Cherry Pop Refashion Frock GROSGRAIN GIVEAWAY!!!!

Isn't this the most gorgeous dress? I like the retro feel to it. And can you believe it was refashioned from another Salvation Army Dress? The original dress was not very appealing. But this one, oh my! I would just adore wearing this! It's something about the color. And the style. It's got a flirty sense to it. Without being in your face. I just love it! Go and enter the giveaway. You know you want to! :)

Georgia Grace $50 Gift Card GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

This cute number comes from Georgia Grace. I just think this dress is perfect for Spring. And it could be yours. Actually, a $50 gift card could be yours. Then you could pick whichever item you like from the shop. You just have to go to Grosgrain and enter the giveaway. :)

Only the Best of Etsy Sample Packages GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Well, I can you tell you one thing, I like getting mail. I especially like getting boxes. And who wouldn't want to get a sample box from Etsy? Only the Best of Etsy offers boxes filled with 10 samples for $15. Yes, you read that right! And free shipping!!! Right away, I was dreaming of a way to get $15. Even that is hard to come by around here. And Etsy. I haven't bought or received anything from Etsy in such a long time! We're talking years! So when I read that there was going to be 2 of these boxes given away, well I about fell out of bed! You know you want to enter this giveaway too! :)

Overnightprints.com Free Business Cards GUEST GIVEWAWAY!!!!

Aren't these simply adorable? They're business cards!!! And you can win 500 custom made business cards from OvernightPrints.com. And as someone who is starting over, business cards are something I can use to get me working again. Go enter the giveaway! :)

Sew Much Ado Ruby Lou Doll AND Pattern GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

I have 2 little girls that would just love one of these little dolls to death! They are called Ruby Lou dolls. And aren't they precious! They come from Sew Much Ado. Grosgrain is hosting a giveaway for this doll and the pattern to make her. We would Welcome Ruby Lou into our home! :)

Covet Antiqued Copper Charm Necklace GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Isn't this simply beautiful? I don't know what else to say. I saw this necklace and had to stop a minute to stare. It comes from Covet Jewels. And honestly, there is not a piece that I wouldn't love to have. Everything they make, is simply beautiful! If you would like a chance to win one of their beautiful necklaces, go to Grosgrain and enter this giveaway. :)

Twinkle Little Star Refashion Frock GROSGRAIN GIVEAWAY!!!!

I know. I have no place to go. But this dress, it makes me dream up the possiblities. I could see myself dressing up, something I haven't done in such a long time! But I could see me doing it. Wearing this cute little number. Can you believe it was made out of a Salvation Army find? That's what you call talent!!! Run and enter this giveaway. This dress is way too beautiful and fun to not enter. :)

Estate Sale Blue Blouse GROSGRAIN GIVEAWAY!!!!

Can you say, "Oh so cute. And chic!" 2 of my 4 are beautiful princesses. Yes, full on princesses. They love dressing up. The oldest of the 2, she likes to wear my clothes around the house. So when I saw this little number, I about died! It's perfect!!! Something I would wear, if it came in my size. But something that could look oh so adorable on my little one. Go enter the giveaway!!! :)

The Pajama Squid THREE Prize GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

I'm a mommy of 4...all under 4. Ya, I know. A little crazy! But when I saw this giveaway, that included these blocks, I just knew I had to enter it! Yup, a giveaway at Grosgrain, not for just one amazing treat. But for 3!!! And they are from The Pajama Squid. Oh so cute!!! But these blocks, they're the ones that caught my eye. Remember, I've got 4 under 4. Anything educational, it's a total plus in my book. I hope I win!!! Between, if I had any sort of extra money, I would LOVE to dress my kids in some of the cute clothes at The Pajama Squid. :)

Magpie Lovely $50 Gift Card GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Do you see this lovely bag? Doesn't it just scream Spring to you? Oh, it also happens to be my favorite color. It's from Magpie. And Grosgrain is hosting a giveaway for Magpie. Yay! You have the chance to win $50. There are so many wonderful things there. But this bag, it just caught my eye. :)

"New Baby" Monogrammed Wool Bonnet GROSGRAIN GIVEAWAY!!!!

I found a new blog. I was reading a friend's blog. And I clicked on a link, to find myself at Grosgrain. Kathleen has to be the most talented woman. I just wish I was that talented. But while I was browsing, I noticed that she has many, many giveaways. I thought I would enter a couple. Would you like the chance to win an adorable hat for you little princess? I know I would, so I entered this giveaway! :)

Sadness

I LOVE to read blogs. And I read a bunch. I "stalk" a few. Checking them every single day for a new entry. Because these are inspirational blogs to me. But in the last few weeks, 5 of the blogs that I read, have gone to "This blog is open to invited readers only." Complete sadness for me!

The 2 blogs that I'm going to miss the most are Adventures in Kandeeland and The Sims Family. Last summer I also had to say goodbye to A New Duck and Peanut Butter Burrito. At the time, those were my favorite 2 blogs!!!

AiK is Kandee's blog about her family. I just liked reading about her special time with her kids. It made me feel like I am able to get through this darkness. That there was hope. That my kids are going to be OK at the end of this journey we're on. TSB is just adorable. Sheaffer posts almost daily. Has loads of pictures of her son and their dog. Her husband was almost killed in a serious accident a few months ago. But I just liked reading about a normal family. And seeing that little boy in his pjs and cowboy boots! I also found Shay through this blog.

And in case you were wondering, AND is about a single mom. Who is also a lawyer. I just loved her blogs about her chair, cravings for pie, and the large amounts of snow she was always having to trek through. I found her through PBB. Andrea was a law student at the time, and pregnant. I actually found both blogs, while both women were expecting. Andrea's husband is a Jeopardy whiz. It actually got me into watching Jeopardy for a long time. And their daughter Becca, she is the cutest! I also enjoyed reading Andrea's monthly letters to Becca.

So there you go 4 of my favorite blogs. There are an additional 3 that have also disappeared. Well, I can't read them. So I consider them gone. It makes me sad. Because I feel like I've invested time into them. Like I know them. Then one day, they're gone to me. I still wonder how New Duckling and Becca are doing. Now I will wonder if Sheaffer's son's rash has healed. And what adventure Kandee and her kids are on.

But I also understand the need for anonymity. You're probably never going to see pictures of my kiddos. Well, I might post a few, but probably not with their faces. Maybe shots of little hands. Or from the back. I just feel safer that way. But I do miss these blogs. It makes me wonder what has happened that makes these ladies feel like they need to protect their blogs and their families. :)

Healing

We started counseling recently. OK, more like a month ago. But it's tough. But important. We all need it to heal and move past our past. Because it's been tough. My boys especially need it. They're bigger, older, and know what's going on. They understood the situation. Which honestly, made me a little sad. No, it made me really sad.

But the place where we're going, it's a good place. We go to a family session. Then the 3 of us have individual sessions. They also watch my kiddos for me when I'm in my session. Which is very generous. I'm lucky that it's a locally run office. So we're on a moving pay scale. Which means that instead of paying $80 for an hour, I pay $10. A lot more affordable.

It's nice to know that there are people out there that still care about human beings. And they really care about kids. My kids, they get to go for nothing. It means a lot. Because I really want them to heal. I want my kids to grow up feeling safe, loved, and able to thrive. This is a good thing for us. :)

Kid's Crafts

I'm looking for a nice website(s) with kid's crafts. You know, ideas, instructions, etc. I could use some help. My kids like things like this. But I'm not really a creative person. I try. And I can follow directions. I just need a little nudge. A little inspiration. You know what I mean? So if you have any blogs or websites, please let me know in the comments. Thanks! :)

One Month

It's been a month since I left. 1 month since I packed up my kids, called some friends, and said I wanted better for my family. Lilah was 6 weeks old. I had 4 kids under 3. And I had no clue what I was going to do. But I knew, I had to leave. 1 month ago...

Now, I have a house. I have friends that love and adore me and my kids. I have a job. We're getting somewhere. Counseling is definitely in order. And we're healing. As a family we're healing. It's tough. And it's hard. Sometimes at night, I lay in bed crying and scared. It's that tough. But then, I see my sleeping babies, and I realize I made the right decision. However hard it was, it was the right thing for us.

1 month. It doesn't seem like much. But it feels like a lifetime ago. The kids are enjoying all of our neighbors. Mostly because there are small kids to play with. And we're making the best of life. I really couldn't have done this without my friends though. They set up a house for us. Made sure my kids had beds and cribs. We had everything we needed. From food to diapers to toys.

I'm very grateful. And I know God is with us. Because there is no other way we could have survived the last month. And there is no other way I could have survived the last 4 years. It wasn't all bad. I was married to someone I had once loved, and who had loved me. But 4 years ago, I'm not sure what happened.

God gave me the strength to do this. To be a better person. To be a good mom to my kids. They're what's important. And I have to take care of them. They're my responsibilities. And I love them so much. I hope God continues to watch over us. We need all his love and guidance. :)

Happy March

I really can't believe it's already March 1st! Whenever I think of March, I think of daffodils. When I was little my grandma grew them in her yard. I always told her they were "sunshine flowers."

And she would tell me that we were going to go pick some sunshine. We'd cut a bunch of daffodils, then take them in the house and put them in an old fashioned water pitcher. During March, my grandma always had a vase of daffodils on her kitchen table. All month long, grandma and I would cut "sunshine flowers" and bring them in the house. It's actually the way I got my nickname, "Sunshine Dawn." That and I would wake up the house at the first sign of sunshine. Happy March! :)